Friendly Foes

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Communcation: Listening

November 11th 2006 11:19

Listening is one of the core aspects of communication. It's quite hard to do for most of the people, but the poin that people don't see is that it's the very core of any long-lasting friendship.

a. First of all to listen to someone, you must think that he says something worth hearing. You may see something in common between you and him/her and you are enthusiastic about hearing what he/she will say. That's a good start.

b. Let him/her speak. Give her/him time to express his ideas, feelings, thoughts about anything. Hear and listen.

c. Try to nderstand him/her. From what he/she says, try to find his/her motives, and general his idea of life and friendship. Try to understand his ideas, and try to learn how he/she sees the world. Be in your friend's shoes.

Listening is only one side of the communication. Next, we'll move on to Speaking.

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Posted By: Utku - Category: Friendship

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Borders of a Friendship

October 10th 2006 17:29

Friendship is a vast land. It reaches far and wide, and you are free to go anywhere on this piece of land. It is the place where you and your friend have some peace of mind and enjoy your life. And as your friendship grows, the land also grows wider. But then, some time later a threat is likely to appear. And if you are careless a bit, your free land may well turn into an empire, a land of tyranny.

The borders of a friendship is defined by respect, and respect only. It is such drawn that even the slightest change on the border might well turn into a war.

If someone considers you as a friend then he or she expects you to respect his or her privacy, likes and dislikes etc. –all the choices that he/she made. You don’t have to agree with all of your friend’s ideas but you must respect them. Because this is the basic idea of friendship. Yes, you will say what you think about the situation, that is a must also. Both of you can not have the same idea on a subject all the time. That is impossible and it would be boring. Because you are two different persons sharing a form of unity called friendship. In addition, only true friends point the mistakes or wrongs that they see to each other. Don’t be afraid to tell him/her why you disagree on the subject. But when this is over, let it go. That is all of your duty as a friend. Next thing you must do is to respect your friend’s choice.

Don’t forget that you are in the free land of friendship. Never let it turn into tyranny.

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Posted By: Utku - Category: Friendship

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Three Rules of Friendship

October 10th 2006 05:18

friend: / 'frend/ one attached to another by affection or esteem.

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines the simple word “friend” as such. But under this simple, six-letter word lies a description of our world. Society is built upon this word. People live and die by its meaning, even nations have peace or wage war against on another with the image that this tiny word creates in the minds.

It is wide and deep as the ocean.

As the ocean is too big for us to speak about in a little and humble post, let’s look carefully, and try to examine the tiny drops.

In life, our friends are the most important figures. We laugh with them, talk to them, care for them, learn from them, listen to them, cook for them, give gifts to them, teach them, see a movie with them... We spend most of our lives with our friends, that is what they are for. We love spending time with them. Having a warm conversation with an old friend is like a massage to the mind and soul. We feel relaxed and at home when we talk to them. It is the act of talking to a friend that makes you feel this way, not the subject of conversation. You might be talking about a game of the last night or a book that you finished reading the day before, but only your friends listen to you as if you were revealing the ultimate meaning of life.

But remember, we are friends for them. Friendship is two-wayed. An Interaction.

Whether you might realize or not, but all friendships are dependant on some certain rules. Most of the time these rules will not change through the friendship. And it’s best if they remain unchanged. So, here is the tripod for every friendship:

The first leg of the tripod is trust. Every friendship is mostly based on this one. You trust in him/her, so that he/she trusts in you. If you don’t have this at the beginnig, then consider the friendship as stillborn. If you lose it along the way, then your friendship is dead.

Second one is communication. A clear and direct conversation is the best one. Don’t try to hide anything because there is an evil in hiding. A friend’s side is where you leave all your masks behind. Open up your heart.

Last one is empathy. Through trust and communication you get to know each other and some time later you will be able to know what your friend will love or not. (If you can’t, try tolerance: willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others. And work on communication.) This will help you to build an everlasting friendship.

So, what can you add as an extra leg to the tripod of friendship?

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Posted By: Utku - Category: Friendship

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November 2006

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